Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai

Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!

How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon?

Wife:
Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay,
Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti,
Main her haftay tumhe change karta ;-)

Tofani barish mein rat ko,
shop per 1 admi pizza lenay aaya
SHOPKEEPER: Aap married hein?
Admin:Is tofani barish mein kia
meri maa mujhey pizza lenay bhejay gi?

Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)

Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi,
1 churail kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,

Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha

Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain
or
muhalla sutna hai

Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”

Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain

Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha

My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.

Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha

Husband - tum kon hoo

Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye

HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai

Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Wife:
suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye
beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai.

Hum kahan jayen gay?
Husband: doosray doctor k paas

Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai

Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Jana k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,”Bhai yeh sab howa kaise?”
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko…
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao…

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

Wife: What is so interesting in me?

Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!

Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein
15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?

Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao…

Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent ……

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De….

Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife
se Husband bola:
“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.”

Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli “Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti”

Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.