Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!

Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…

After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Only true friends stand by u
during bad times.
I promise
I will attend ur wedding.

The most effective
way 2 remember
ur wife’s birthday
is 2 forget it once.

Lawyer: “What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?”
Witness: “He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’”

Lawyer: “And why did that upset you?”
Witness: “My name is Susan.”

Why Government do NOT
allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution,
you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE
for the same Mistake.

Before Marriage:-

He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
she:do you want me 2 leave?
He: No! don’t even think about it
She: do you love me ?
He:ofcourse! over n over!
She:have u ever cheated on me?
He:No!y r u even asking?
She:will u go on wid me on picnic?
He:every chance I get!
She:will u hit me ?
He:R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
She:can I trust u?
He:yes..
She: Darling!

After marriage…
Now simply read from bottom to top

Man at medical store:I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that

Man shows his marriage certificate
.
.
.
Chemist: Oh! sorry,
I didn’t knew u had a prescription.

True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.

Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.
She replied, Yes dear, I know
but I was in love and didnt notice.

A person who surrenders when he’s WRONG,
is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE,
is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he’s RIGHT,
is a HUSBAND.!

Man : Is there any way for long life?
Doctor : Get married.

Man : Will it help?
Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come.

Q: During Marriage ceremony why is the
bridegroom made to sit on the horse?

A: He is given his last chance to
run away…!!

A good marriage would be between
a Blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom upwards!!!

Telling a lie is
Fault 4 a little boy
an Art 4 a lover
an Accomplishment 4 a bachelor
and a Matter of survival 4 a married man

Shadi kernay aur mobile
kharidnay k baad aik hi baat
ka afsos hota hay kaash
thori dair aur ruk jaatay
to acha model mil jata.:p

It’s funny when people discuss
LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.

It’s like asking someone,
if suicide is better or being murdered

“When a man holds a woman hands?”

When a man holds a woman’s hand
before marriage, it is love;

after marriage it is self-defense

Man before Marriage is like Airtel….
“Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan”

After Marriage He’s Like Hutch…
“Whereever U Go Our Network Follows.”

What is Marriage?
Ans:
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha Na Jaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sab ki hawa Nikal de.
3 year:-CHLORMINT- DOBARA MAT PUCHNA…..

One day a man inserted
an ‘advertisement’ in the
local classifieds: “Wife wanted”.

Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

A little kid asks his Dad,
“Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?”

“No idea,” replied the Father,
“I’m still paying for it…”

Grooms, once you marry,
please remember that when
you have a discussion
with your future wife,
always try to get the
last two words in: “Yes dear”